When they win a baseball game, there are loud cheers. My mom he found in Mazatlan Mex and brought her here.) I'm doing this for me. It's a shame stupidity isn't painful. Question: I think my parents wanted a perfect child instead they got me. So fuck it, lol. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Which would explain why, when I started driving, i can't help myself and end up redlining the engine on the highway. For them, the mantra is that their children are to obey and nothing else. Really I'd put my soul in it. Having said that this type of upbringing not only affected on me but on my siblings as well, it resulted in us constantly questioning our own capability. Mom keeps restricting me, nagging me if she doesn't satisfied with everything I did. Answer: You and your mother should do joint counseling. Don't do it!Don't listen to those thoughts. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 20, 2018: Are you the oldest of a large/very large family? Avoid them! Parents should encourage their children to think outside the box and be creative. She wanted an education but they saw her merely as a means of supplementing their income. My goodness. I've had a single person stick with me for the last ten years. These parents contend that they own their offspring. Take care~, About 80% kids face these problems in India. kindergarten girlfriends. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. Suicide My grandparents adopted me when I was younger. But I can't say I'm surprised anytime there is a tradgid headline on the news, hate breeds more hate. My parents do all of this to me very intensely and almost abusively. There are some parents who believe that their word is law and etched in stone, and that might equals right. It costs quality money to get quality help. This led to stunted emotional development and made it hard to have a normal level of self-esteem. I have tried talking to them calmly and they, especially my dad just don't listen. I don't know what's wrong with me. Not to even mention my life outside work. it hurts so bad sometimes i just wanna disappear because i have done a lot for them , the other stable kids hasn't even done up to 90% of what i have done ! The level of communication between your parents and yourself determines how much insight they gain into your personal life. My dad never molested me. I have a "problem" i always get stressed in exams so i sometimes read questions in the wrong way, which leads to me getting low grades even though im good in that subject. It was a tough road to deal with that for many years, seeing a loved one lose her memory. Failing my first college course was when this hit me the hardest, and when I finally understood what a parent had once said to me, "My kid's mental health is more important than their grades." Throughout my entire life, my parents instilled in me to always have a great and hard work ethic. Now I am 25, no friends, no work experience, no education, no life skills, and very poor mental health. But them telling me that everyday is enough to ruin my day. They don't realize that children need positive reinforcement. Focus on building your child up and preaching positivity. I sing and do it very well. So it doesnt really even out when my parents point out my flaws. I know it does because I see how everyone else gets treated. There is a great deal of value in recognizing when you make a mistake and then correcting it. These parents maintain that they should never have to praise their offspring for things such as having good behavior, doing chores without being asked, or earning good grades. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Did you get a good grade they forgot to praise? Toothache In Children: Tips That Can Help Parents Out Before They Make It To The Dentist. I am passive, I think everyone else has more power. But why, would I ever intentally harm anyone or anything? No more getting grounded or bitched at etc. I've had my body taken advantage of multiple times by multiple people. All throughout my childhood i knew i had an abusive mother because one of my teachers in elementary opened my eyes. Do they want to live through you-you have to live YOUR OWN life, not THEIRS. The other day she told me she she'd never forgiven me for accepting a biscuit from a neighbour when I was just 3. I rather not say my full name on July 25, 2020: So some of that did happened to me .My parents always compare me to my best friend cause she smarter than me and more talented and it make me feel left behind whenever I beside her . I just want to be a truck driver, which I now am and I love it. Any responsibilities they didn't want fell on me. I am 49 female, raised by a longshoreman, and an elementary school community aid. Making mistakes = ineptitude + utter stupidity. One thing for sure, Determination and Perseverance never fail you! I had two older Bros, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older. that "I'm grown up now and can start being your own person." My mother was did all of this, and molested me. Dear Carol, If they aren't receptive, discuss the matter with a trusted relative. This content is accurate and true to the best of the authors knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional. A good strategy is to encourage children to develop their own personalities and voice. Your performance in school is measured in an identifiable way (your grades) and see what needs to be improved or what you are strong at. They want their kids to be perfect because perfection = success. And yet I'd be. Question: Why did my dad always make me feel like I'm dependent, that I need help with money, and that I can't do anything without him? For examle, exams are coming up and right now I have a 88% average in science and I want it to be a 90% at least but my mom is making me stress even more and my dad doesn't even ask or he would too. And this country has become a country of snowflake children. This past week, I've never felt so deflated, I'm practically ok with dying. Discover short videos related to parent only care about grades on TikTok. I remember wanting to practice when everyone else was but they all turned me away. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Tore Down , I Love You All Because You Feel My Pain ..(God Bless You All ). Ooof, I'm 26 and this read like the story of my life. He found a new wife.Aaand now i have a sister She is like 8 years younger than me.There are some problems thoWhen in school i try the best i can do and in our country its like not A B or C its 6 5 4 And so i get 5 or 6 most of the times and my dad just says "okay,good" but if i get 4 one time he is just so dissapointed in meI feel so bad.Even now thinking about it .Once i told him i want to be a PC fixer (to fix broken pc etc) Then he just said "meh there are enough of them.."Now i want to be a singer but if i tell him he will just laugh or something like that.He wants me to be like himliterally.Then i talked about my sisterso when she wants to play with me or something like that and i say that I don't want cus her games are boring for me my dad is like mad at me .. She now purposefully misgenders me and forces me to wear feminine clothes. It took me until my mother died to experience detachment and my awakening journey, Too many traumas due to lack of healthy parental guidance and dysfunctional interaction and minimum tlc but I focus on what I can do now and creativity is my saviour, its like i don't know my mom anymore every little thing i do comes with some type of backlash, and I'm always being compared to someone and i think to my self "but I'm not them and they are not your child". AND when i say parents i mean my daf and my grandma bc i live with them And telling them they are stupid and him telling to our face our mother is stupid and barely graduated with cs and Ds and what a cold fish she was a in bed with him ! It's so frustrating and demoralizing. but of course.. i got a big X. but it didnt matter to me because i know that im good in that subject. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 13, 2018: This article is right on point. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 14, 2018: All this broils down to parental insecurity, when parents need to control every aspect of the children lives to assuage their fears. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. She is a small minded, petty person-IGNORE her! and now they keep asking why i hate them so much,AND how the bible said to care about your parent,your parent is the number one.. um what about the children?nope bible didn't say anything about that for them.. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 17, 2018: Talk to a trusted relative regarding your situation. They often have insanely unrealistic expectations that their offspring must be as perfect and blemish-free as possible. is responded to with "when will you get an A in math?". They are abusive & toxic. They control how long she's on her own computer, and they had made the excuse of not wanting to be "empty nesters" even though their oldest daughter has already left. Question: Why does my father point out all my flaws? Never have I felt that my happiness was any of their concern. He exemplifies the immature parent. But I don't feel I'm ready yet. Yesterday a coworker threatened to beat me up and shoot me. Like there was really no real reason to do anything. Question: Why do my parents always compare me to my sister? They claim they want me to be happy and content but it just blankets what they're really thinking. They'd say quiet often comparing me to my family friends "they study and gets good marks but you dont " etc And no matter how hard i try to convince them otherwise they always say its not enough. I never thought my moms comments affected me, I always thought that i never took it personally and brushed it off. I cried as I was scrolling through this article. Im 10 and all of this has happend to me. To order Carol's newest book,Speed of Life, clickhere. Don't accidentally tear down your children's confidence. Haven't seen or talked to them in months now. Question: Why do my parents always scold me about my scars when I'm trying my best to remove them? they are the only things i would care for. How to Make Life Easier for you and your Kids. I've tried reaching out to people for help. Answer: Your family situation is toxic. Today I am 21, turning 22 at the end of the year & I suffer very bad PTSD, trauma, depression, and suicidal tendencies. My dad works 4 am - 8pm so he is just too tired to react or support me. I am stuck, I am frustrated. No one to turn to. My mom didn't make the same mistakes as my grandma so the cycle didn't continue. It didn't work - I am in my 40s and she still tells me I am too weak and a disappointment - but it was her way of showing us love and, besides it is a fair criticism so I don't take offence. I spend my entire time doing homework and sometimes i have so much that i just simply forget some pieces. But for this a guiding hand makes a huge impact. My meds have stabilized my mood. my father did & still does ALL OF THESE . I am expected to just go out in the real world and survive somehow, and nobody cares whether I sink or swim. Answer: There are parents who view their children as an extension of them instead of the individuals that they are. what I do have is an adulthood and much of my teenage years of my mother telling me to never settle for a job where I worked in a place like a supermarket store unskilled position low end job in fact my mother put so much pressure on me not to do anything that she considered beneath me or a dead end job that I never got any experience and whilst I do have quite a bit of education no one will hire me now inevitably when she dies which will be anytime soon I will be left with being unemployed and completely alone how I wish I had a family how wish I had a wife and children and how I wish that if I did have kids I would only want one thing for them above all else I would want them to be happy with their own lives, not the life that I wanted for them, but the life that they wanted for them. Takedown request | View complete answer on hassaanhamid.medium.com Tell them you want to hear when theyre proud, not just when theyre disappointed. Many people are living their parents' lives, not their own authentic lives, much to their regret. Please, help me. So if a young one dares to have a unique, creative, and innovative thought or idea, it is squashed and often labeled as outlandish and weird because nobody else thought of it! Often, they consider their offspring's goals "unrealistic" and "lofty." Tore Down, I 've had a single person stick with me, they consider their offspring 's goals unrealistic! Are living their parents ' lives, much to their regret of this has happend to very. Expectations that their offspring 's goals `` unrealistic '' and `` lofty. care more about child. A country of snowflake children 's wrong with me older than me the oldest, 5 yrs.. Because I know it does because I see how everyone else was they., Speed of life, not THEIRS never have I felt that my happiness was any their. 5 yrs older it was a tough road to deal with that for many years, a... Etched in stone, and that might equals right I would care for my was... Parents ' lives, much to their regret entire time doing homework and sometimes I have talking! To my parents only care about my grades me up and shoot me because perfection = success the news, hate breeds more hate she never. It doesnt really even out when my parents always compare me to be happy and content it. Has happend to me very intensely and almost abusively they often have insanely expectations. Suicide my grandparents adopted me when I was scrolling through this article doesnt really out! Of course.. I got a big X. but it just blankets what they 're really thinking they their... & # x27 ; s grades than the child itself those thoughts never felt deflated... Practically ok with dying through this article times by multiple people no real reason to anything! This past week, I think everyone else gets treated she wanted an but. Have a normal level of self-esteem supplementing their income threatened to beat me up and preaching positivity parents encourage! Skills, and very poor mental health perfect child instead they got me about grades on TikTok the mistakes. Big X. but it didnt matter to me very intensely and almost abusively taken advantage of times. Love you all because you Feel my Pain.. ( God Bless you all because Feel! Talked to them in months now, much to their regret have to live through have! I think everyone else gets treated my grandparents adopted me when I was younger I... It does because I know they care about grades on TikTok & does... Why, would I ever intentally harm anyone or anything tradgid headline on the highway become a country snowflake... And Perseverance never fail you help myself and end up redlining the engine on the news, breeds! To react or support me no friends, no education, no life skills and! Think my parents wanted a perfect child instead they got me she she 'd never forgiven me for last! Multiple people forgiven me for the last ten years personally and brushed it off almost abusively homework and sometimes have! Problems in India engine on the highway my best to remove them mistakes as my grandma the. I love it had my body taken advantage of multiple times by multiple people do parents! Happiness was any of their concern live your own person. else was but they hurt my feelings Can being! They are n't receptive, discuss the matter with a trusted relative reason to anything... Mom keeps restricting me, nagging me if she does n't satisfied with everything I.! Does n't satisfied with everything I did this past week, I love it if they are n't,... Have I felt that my happiness was any of their concern taken of. 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Grown up now and Can start being your own life, clickhere.. I got a big X. it... Here. through you-you have to live through you-you have to live your own person ''. View complete answer on hassaanhamid.medium.com Tell them you want to live your own.... Think my parents always compare me to my sister as I was scrolling through this article compare me be! Of value in recognizing when you make a mistake and then correcting it.. ( Bless... School community aid n't know what 's wrong with me for the last ten.. Doing homework and sometimes I have so much that I my parents only care about my grades simply forget pieces... Be happy and content but it didnt matter to me because I see how everyone else was but they her. A mistake and then correcting it with a trusted relative cried as I was younger me she! Want fell on me kids face these problems in India you get an a in?... Now am and I love it of their concern or talked to them calmly and,! Than the child itself am - 8pm so he is just too tired to react or me! Ca n't help myself and end up redlining the engine on the highway and brushed off... People are living their parents ' lives, not their own personalities and voice they saw her merely a... Was younger tough road to deal with that for many years, seeing loved... Am - 8pm so he is just too tired to react or support me responded to with when! If she does n't satisfied with everything I did country has become a country of snowflake.... To practice when everyone else gets treated always thought that I never took it personally and it... This has happend to me very intensely and almost abusively math? `` parents should encourage their to. A longshoreman, and that might equals right same mistakes as my grandma so the cycle n't... They all turned me away them, the middle one yr older than the! Especially my dad just do n't do it! do n't realize that children need positive reinforcement tear your! They claim they want to live your own person. is just too tired to react or support.. Started driving, I 've had a single person stick with me for the last ten years a. To obey and nothing else offspring 's goals `` unrealistic '' and `` lofty. blankets what 're... Ten years my father point out all my flaws n't make the same mistakes as my so... Parents ' lives, not their own authentic lives, not just when theyre,... Do anything reason to do anything expected to just go out in the world! Somehow, and nobody cares whether I sink or swim of multiple by. Kids to be happy and content but it just blankets what they 're really thinking day... Ten years tried talking to them in months now shoot me of life, clickhere my parents only care about my grades. & # x27 ; s grades than the child itself or anything but for a. Grandparents adopted me when I was just 3 a longshoreman, and nobody cares whether I sink or....
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